Should I change jobs or not? Maybe writing this out will give me some clarity, because right now I’m so back and forth. In the same day I contemplate packing up my things and staying at the airport until the next flight to Paris that I can afford, and then a few hours later I figure I should just stick it out until the summer as planned.

So let me explain what I don’t like: The number one thing is my schedule. I work thirty hours a week, five hours each day except Sunday. Fine. But then I have to work overtime if Axel can’t bring the kids to school in the morning, if one of the kids is sick, or if Gabi and Axel are going somewhere and need a babysitter. I do get paid extra for this (theoretically, I haven’t gotten any money yet), but I can’t say no, regardless of what plans I had made. And it’s likely that I will have to cancel plans because they don’t give me much advanced notice. Plus I have to keep my cell phone on me so that I can accept work-related calls 24/7. So being in class/the library/the shower/out with friends/asleep…none of these are valid excuses for not being available.

The second problem is the youngest kid, Robin. He is, to say the least, poorly behaved. Just a few examples: Saturday morning I took the kids to the park. When I told Robin it was time to go he took a handful of pebbles from the ground and threw them at my face. He missed, but still. Once when I refused to let go of his hand in a busy train station he bit my hand. I know it’s lame to let a five year old bully me into leaving, but the real problem is his parents who don’t think this kind of behavior merits any real discipline, or maybe they do but for some reason never follow through with anything more than a stern talking-to.

The third thing (there are more, but I’ll stop after this one) is the amount and kind of housework I have to do. I scrub toilets, vacuum, and generally have to clean up after the whole family. The only person who helps me is Aga, the other hired help. Okay, and to be faire, Gabi helps a little. Some if it, like laundry and dishes aren’t so bad, but what I can’t stand is that children know that making their own beds, putting away their own toys, and clearing their own places at the table are all activities that are beneath them; foreigners have been hired to do that for them.

Of course it isn’t all bad. Right now “working” entails waiting for the laundry to be done while writing a blog entry and gnawing on some dried mango. I need to think on this some more.