This weekend, while nursing a cold, I finished The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It’s the kind of book that makes me wish that I were still in a book club because I really want to hear other people’s thoughts about this. Basically the author spent a year trying out some conventional and some unconventional wisdom about how to make oneself happy and reported her findings.

I was ready to disagree with everything she had to say. Gretchen Rubin went to Yale law school (therefore she’s waaay smarter than me), wrote lots of books about American history (the most boring subject in the world to me), and has two daughters. While I have absolutely nothing against parents or want-to-be-someday parents (most people in the world whom I love are in these categories), I don’t ever want children and think of myself as fundamentally different than people who do. So I wasn’t feeling very receptive to Ms. Rubin’s advice.

But once I convinced myself that I probably shouldn’t switch jobs, only because there’s no guarantee that the switch would not be for the worse, I figured I need to find a way to make myself happier with the situation I’m in. I’d always heard that people can choose to be happy or unhappy, and this is one of the pretexts of The Happiness Project. But my happiness had always seemed to depend on external factors. I’m picnicking in a Parisian park with my boyfriend? I’m at the beach gossiping and tanning with my best friend? I’m watching Parks and Recreation with my mom after a tiring but productive day? The of course I’m happy, how could I not be? But my train is stalled at rush hour and people are stepping on my toes? It’s mid-April and I’m still wearing my winter jacket? I need quiet place to write and can’t find one because it’s Sunday and not a single fricking library is open? The of course I’m not happy, how could I be?

Turns out there are still things you can do. Singing in the morning, for example, can actually help. Okay, I haven’t starting singing in the morning, but I listen to a few uplifting songs instead of NPR while getting dressed now and it actually makes me feel better. I used to think (and I guess I still kind of do) that listening to a song you like too often will “wear out” that song. If I listen to any song I like too much, then logically, one day I’ll be incapable of extracting any pleasure from music. But reading this made me realize that that’s kind of a ridiculous idea. Plus I need to trust that there will be more good music in the future in case I “use up” today’s music, so I should just allow myself to enjoy music I like now freely.

I’m running out of time now, so go check this out for yourself: http://www.happiness-project.com/ and then let’s discuss!